Four Years married, nearly Eight Years together. Eight Years? I've known him that long? We've been together that long? Is it even possible?! Sometimes I think back to the weird German that caught my attention when I first came to Germany, I remember his goofy grin and bad jokes making me laugh, even when I didn't understand a word he said. Nights at the table with dictionaries and pens and paper, trying to understand one another. Then later, after we'd gotten through the confusing should-we/shouldn't-we phase of our budding relationship, thinking of how much there was to learn about this man. There were days where I'd think: I don't understand him or his ways, I am slightly uncomfortable with his past, and why does he have such ugly clothes?

Now, however, he is as comfortable as an old glove. (I know, that sounds so not romantic, but i place all importance on comfort in my life!) His past no longer bothers me because it is not what is important, it is our past, present and future that matters and the two of us have faced some really big pits -not potholes, depthless pits - together.

Let me review how amazing it is that the two of us ever met: Sven was born in 1967 in East Germany, that's 10 years before I came into this world and behind the iron curtain. His baby photos are black and white not because it was 'in', but because that is all there was! I was born in 1977 in America, to a small normal, middleclass family that had never been outside the western United States before.

Sven grew up believing America was Enemy No. 1. I grew up believeing Germany was responsible for every bad thing that had happened in the war since WWI. Sven was limited as to where he was allowed to vacation, what he was allowed to say, and learned that no one could be completely trusted. I vacationed all over the U.S. and Canada, with the option of going almost anywhere in the world, had freedom of speech and religion and never imagined a world where my best friend or family member might turn me into the police. Sven had to serve in the East German Army. I went to college.

When Sven was finished with his mandatory service in the Army, the Wall came down. Irony? He then decided not to go on with furthering his education as he could earn as much as his father (who had a degree) working a layman's job. So how did he get out of his niche? The army wasn't so bad after all. Before the army, he was content to go to work and listen to lowerclass discussions of pigs and cows. While in the army, he met educated men and learned there was more to life. This is how his path started to converge with mine. He went back to school. Quit a good job that earned him decent money and moved to Leipzig and studied economics.

How did I get to Germany? My long-year dream of becoming a professional musician had melted before my eyes, but my longing to go to a foreign country (specifically one that spoke German) had not. I pursued German as a major and found a program to send me to Germany so that I could learn the language and culture.

Sven failed his final exam two times. It wah is last exam before he would receive his degree and he had one more chance to pass. Someone suggested he take a break and go to Munich as an intern. He took them up on their suggestion and worked the summer of 1997 for Siemens Business Services and lived in the Agnes-Adelheid Housing for students.

I was researching the Junior Year in Freiburg through Wayne State University at the tme Sven was failing his exam. I was fully ready and prepared to go to Freiburg on another student's word. Then I read the brochure. Munich offered so many more classes. I waffled. Then the Freiburg program shut down and I had to go to Munich. I had two different housing options: Agnes-Adelheid or Studentenstadt. Agnes-Adelheid meant a room of my own, but sharing a bathroom, shower and kitchen with 7 other people (most likely German Students). Studentenstadt meant a room, shower and kitchenette of my own and less interaction with other students. I was brave. I chose Agnes-Adelheid.

See our paths converge. I was placed in the very same house and floor as Sven. What failures the both of us had to first endure for our paths to cross! That was a long history. Sorry!

Four years later, July 27, 2001:

And now, here we are, another four years later. It wasn't easy, but we've withstood some horrible tests, I think we're here to stay.

We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person. * W. Somerset Maugham

Here's to yet another four years, and another four year, and another.

Ich liebe Dich, Sachi!!!

In Memory of Our Day:

• the Wedding Album
• the Wedding Story (forgive the horrible website, I created it in 2001!!)

Crete Installment Number 3:

The town of Aghios Nicolaos was our stop for Day Two with the car. It wasn't too far away from Herssonissos and the Hotel and I honestly cannot remember why we wanted to see it at all. Both Mom and I thought it would be a good stop though, so off we drove.

The town has this sweet lake called Voulismeni (yah, just try and say that out loud!) that you can go see and astound - not at its vastness or uniqueness, rather at how small it is! The lake was once freshwater but the Turks supposedly connected the lake with the sea in 1870 and it slowly but steadily, became a saltwater lake. I don't know about you, but it seems rather on the opposite end of the scale of smart to turn a major fresh water supply into saltwater, but who's judging?

"The charming, circular Voulismeni Lake in the centre of town, where small boats can find protection, connects to the harbour by a channel dug in 1870. At one time, many people believed that the lake was bottomless, but a depth reading done by an English sea captain calculated it to be 64 metres deep. According to legend, the goddess Athena bathed in the lake. Today, tavernas surround the lake and there is a small zoo on the southwest side."

The lake was probably the most interesting part of the town, quite picturesque with a lovely long stair going up the steep edge for a view of the whole town and out to sea. Yes, a lovely steep stair that we just had to climb up at noon for the view. Okay, so the view was fabulous. I admit. And thankfully, there were quite a few resting places on the way up and at the top and all of them shady. Quite a difference from Knossos's dusty ruins and beating sun.

There is something about cats in warm climates. You never, ever see strays in Germany. Ever. If you did, I would snatch one up and take it home with me. However, we saw cats galore in Florence, in Rome and now in Greece. In fact, there was a whole calendar devoted to the stray cats of Crete available for sale in the Supermarket at the Grand Hotel. Mom and Sven both tried their hands at some cat shots.

And of course, if you are on a lake with wharves or a harbor or whatever, you are going to have your share of lovely boats to snap pictures of. You will most likely even find the artistic shot or two to catch your eye, whether you are a photographer, or a scrapbooker (applause to Sven who discovered this lovely shot of a docked boat and picturesque lamp).

After we'd finished with lakes and boats and kittens, we headed on into the town of Aghios Nicolaos itself where our first stop was a nice touristy shop to get Mom a hat. Yes, a hat. She has looked at hats every year she has been on vacation, tried them on, laughed and put them away. So what was different this year? She needed protection that's what. She had gone and burned her head quite badly the day before at Knossos and I wasn't the only one pushing her to get some sort of protection. She ended up with a black straw hat in the style of a baseball cap. Looked cute, just a bit touristy.

Our next stops were various jewerly shops along the way. There are about 10 on every street, side-by-side and across the street from each other. The night we had met up with our Alltours Guide, she had told us about the Evil Eye and so we were keeping our eyes peeled for any stores selling them. We eventually happened upon one that had quite a few little silver rimmed eyes on display and got taken in. Mom bought a lovely one with a black leather cord to go with it for Kylene (I can write this down now because she has since received her gift and I can't spoil it for her!). It was actually lovely, walking around the town. The atmosphere was relaxed and the people friendly, which seemed true for all the towns we visited in Crete!

Eventually though, bladders and stomachs starting making themselves known (poor Sven, all he wanted to do was see, see, see and he had two weak bladders and a pregnant woman's voracious appetite to deal with on a constant basis) so when we hit a beach with some restaurants, we stopped for water and the WC's. The beach was actually quite lovely and it was so hot, all Mom and I wanted to do was jump in right there, but Sven was disagreeable to the idea as the beach was framed by a pier and large boats.

So off we went once we finished our water and relieved bladders. It was actually a lovely walk along the sea in the blazing sun, because there was a wonderful breeze keeping us cool. Once we rounded the edge of the pointy coasty bit, we hit restaurants. Okay, not really, but Mom, Dad and Sven were all busy taking photos and so I ran to the little bit of shade being given off by the nearby restuarant. The owner of the restaurant (or a waiter?) was standing right there so I joined him and he chatted me up (of course, that's all they do there: try and get you to eat at their place!). I liked him though, he was friendly without being greasy and answered my questions about the cat wandering around pleasantly. No, it wasn't his cat, it was a wharf cat. And best of all, his place offered vegetarian souvlaki. I was pretty much sold at this point, which is when Sven approached, so we stayed. and oh was that souvlaki good! I'm going to make myself hungry, but it was grilled zucchini, eggplant, mushrooms, carrots (yes carrots!) and oh so good! Sven had stuffed lamb (three cheeses I think) and Dad had veal. Guess who the cat came up to and begged from? Oh yes, and that cat got some choice bits of veal and lamb for her troubles!

After lunch, we meandered on back up to the car, stopping at a Spar supermarket to replenish our water supply and headed towards Elounda and the island of Spinalonga in order to view from afar the former Leper Colony. We later learned (thanks to Vasilis) that the Island continued as a leper colony up until very recently (1960? I've already forgotten, so if anyone can remind me, I'd appreciate it!) when they were removed to a hospital near Hersonissos. (Again, I could be wrong on this, so please correct me!).

After that, we headed back to the Hotel by a rather long , steep and windy route. It was in fact, so windy and steep, that Mom got sick and couldn't get out of the car when we stopped to check out the windmills!

We also drove through some villages that were beyond comprehension. We're talking about 90% in ruins, yet people still living in them and sitting out in the shade of their front doors, draped in black or drinking beer (women and men respectively) and watching the dumb, lost tourists drive by.

One last note of interest: While driving through the island of Crete, we came across many, many little model-like churches. We all wondered what they were for, but never bothered to ask, and Sven assumed they played a similar role to the crucifixes you see in Bavaria. He did finally ask a colleague of his, who had been in Crete a few months prior to our visit, and was told that each church commemorates the death of an automobile accident...

I was going to include the following day and Matala in this installment, but am somewhat surprised at how long the Aghios Nicolaos report is. I guess I'll leave Matala for tomorrow then. It's a shorter report with a less-than-happy outcome and won't have you sitting with crossed eyes by the end...

Crete Installment Number 2:

Starting on Day Three of our vacation in Crete we had a rental car for three days. Up early for a 7:30am breakfast, so that we'd be ready and waiting for the Hertz representative to hand over our car to us. We were in the reception bright and early and before said rep., and told to go to the waiting area. We shied away from the comfort of the couches though, as the area was being used as smoking lounge at the time. Dumb for us, as the rep walked in and immediately looked in the lounge and when he didn't see anyone he thought might belong to the rental car, he stood right next to us in the recetion area and waited. I smiled at him, he nodded back. No one made any move to question the other. Said rep was not wearing anything to identify him as a Hertz Rep. Eventually, he walked out of the Hotel and headed towards a car. I got nervous, Sven followed him, spoke to him. He was indeed the Hertz rep. He returned to the Hotel, gave us a sheepish grin and we got the paperwork underway. The car was ours, for three days at least.

Nothing fancy, it had four doors and air conditioning, and that's all we required. Turns out the car was so not fancy, even little mofas were passing us on the road. That's right, absolutely no power. However, we now had the power to explore the island. Armed with only our Eye Witness book (which unfortunately had only a small section on Crete itself) each person was supposed to go through and look for an area he/she might like to explore. Now although each of us looked through it, no one really made any suggestions, and I really wanted to go to Knossos. So we did.

Now let me preface this by telling you that I smeared an ample amount of 30 SPF water-resistant sunblock all over every exposed inch of my skin before we even went down to meet the Hertz rep. That's right, I had plenty of hours of protection as long as I didn't go swimming.

The ride was almost uneventful, considering we didn't get stated until after 10am, we had only one directional mishap due to the new road being blocked and not allowing access to Heraklion and causing us to turn around and drive right back to Hersonissos. We did reach Knossos by 11:30am and let ourselves be waved into the first parking lot we approached. Yes, we had to pay but we also got free use of WC's and free water.

Knossos. The road to the ruins was covered in tourist trap shops selling hats and scarves and jewlery as well as the most beautiful morning glories, which hadn't yet wilted in the sun's heat. Enter Knossos and stand in line for tickets. Kittens! Dead-to-the-world kittens sleeping in what shade they could find on benches. Did you really think I could pass by without petting the oblivious little creature? Of course not. Sven was not happy with me, he was sure that kitten carried some disease that was going to attack me and our unborn baby. I slathered on the Germ-X after petting the kitten to placate him...

Knossos, as you can see if you click on the above pictures and look at a few choice photos of our time there, is a ruin. I think what makes these particular ruins so interesting is their age. The area has been inhabited since Neolithic times (6000 B.C. and perhaps even earlier). Exacavations have revealed that the Neolithic levels at Knossos are among the deepest in Europe. In other words, we are talking older than old here! In all honesty though, I think it's nearly impossible in that torturous heat, to get a true feeling of age when you walk through, you just notice the sweat dripping down your back, building up behind your knees and how parched your throat is getting while your bladder fills up despite all the sweating...Yes, it's between 12 and 3pm that we are perusing the ruins, armed with sunblock and a hat, I felt safe, though not exactly comfortable. The heat was turning me a nice bright red, that's heat, not burn, I promise. I didn't burn once while in Crete, I saved that for a week later in the rather cooler, windier Putzbrunn...That red did not go unnoticed by one person in my family though and each and every one of them asked me if I had put on sunblock within 20 minutes of each other. Guess who left Knossos with sunburned body parts? That's right, not Miss Amber. Try a sunburned head on Cindy (who was not wearing a hat - she abhors them) and sunburned legs on Mr. Kyler who didn't believe his legs could get burned. Oops.

While interesting up to a point, Knossos didn't hold the same charm that Pompeii did and it was much too hot, and I was much too pregnant to really enjoy it, or be awed by it's imposing age. Besides, I felt like a whale and when you look at the requisite touristy pictures of us smiling prettily for the camera, you'll notice that I not only look as large as a whale, I'm wonderfully dressed in like the insides of a salmon. Hey, sometimes you don't realize your wardrobe errors until you are faced with numerous photos of yourself in said disaster.

Yes, sorry folks, I hid from the camera and as I am the author of this blog and choosing the photos to share, you won't see many of me in all my salmon whaleness...You'd just laugh if you did, for various reasons, my looks of exasperation as yet another photo was taken of me from the FRONT (I keep thinking of the phrase: Wide Load), and the absolute truth of my salmon whale descriptions. So I'm sparing myself the publich embarassment.

Once we'd finally, finally gotten through the maze of the ruined palace of Knossos, it was 3pm or so and I wasn't the only starving soul on board! We had a few choices for lunch and ended up on the terrace of a nice little place that served international as well as Greek fare. Yes, finally, Greek food! I wanted dolmades. I got dolmades. I made dad eat Moussaka and mom had stuffed tomatoes, which she split with me for half my dolmades. She didn't actually like the dolmades, but never said a word. Suffering in silence, silly woman.

That was honestly enough touristing it up for us that day and after lunch we drove back to the Hotel and jumped in the pool to cool off from the hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, day.

Crete Insallment Number 1:

So you might have heard that Greece was one of the first countries to use the flushing toilet, quite progress, right? Well, they still haven't figured out how to flush toilet paper without clogging the plumbing. So much for progress. What does that mean for you? It means throwing the paper in the trash and not in the toilet. No easy feat, considering how long you've probably been throwing IN the toilet, especially at 2am when you are only half-asleep. We admit to a few mistakes and a few of us even went so far as to fish the offending paper out of the toilet. Ew. Eventually learned the easiest way to remember not to throw in the toilet, was to step AWAY from the toilet and face the garbage.

I can't tell you waht a relief it was to get back into the Munich Airport and no longer need to perform this last trick!

Sorry no fun photo collage today, but if you click on the photo to the left, you'll go to a set of photos taken of and around the Hotel/Resort we were staying at. I have to admit, I was too hot and exhausted to carry walk around the resort and snap pictures and the majority of these were taken by my Mom or from my balcony, where I didn't need to walk up a crazy hill to get the best view.

The Grand Hotel Resort is within walking distance of the town of Hersonissos. Well, neither Mom nor I suggest walking to Hersonissos in the mid-day heat, especially if you are pregnant, but it is doable...

Across the street from the Grand Hotel Resort is the Nana Beach Resort. This Resort is more expensive and only offers full-pension. I think it is more expensive because it is literally located directly on the Beach, whereas you have to cross the street and go through Nana Beach to get to that same beach from the Grand Hotel. No matter, we were quite satisfied with the Grand Hotel, despite it's being built on three diferent levels built into a Crete-Mountain. We were, thankfully, on the 2nd level and only had one major hill to climb EVERY DAY to get to our room from reception and back. In fact, the 'quiet pool' was located very close to our rooms, we needed only to cut through a nice pathway and some stairs and we were there. You could even see the pool from both balconies. Why didn't we choose to go to this particular pool everyday? Partly because it was a 'quiet pool' and we tended to like the option of being loud and laughing while in the pool, and partly because it was much smaller, shallower and saltier. You sort of bobbed when you got in and it was difficult to keep your feet on the pool bottom!

The activities pool was located on the lower level, along with the restuarant and reception. This pool went to 2m deep and was less salty. It needed much more energy to swim from one end to the other, not just because the pool was MUCH bigger, but because you didn't have all that salt to bouy you up!

Ooh, speaking of salt...if you've never jumped into a chlorinated pool only to taste salt, you are definetly in for a shock! I thought I must have been sweating pretty badly after I'd done it the first time, only to have Sven and my Father reassure me that the pool was salted!

Mom wasn't a great fan of this bigger pool becuase she is rather small and the depth was too much for her. We spent most of our time floating around the 'blue line' which was sort of a marker at where it finally got shallow enough for her to stand on her tiptoes!

The Hotel also boasted a game room, a giant chessboard, a kid's pool (with water slide!), a restaurant, mini supermarket, workout room and various bars, terraces and balconies, along with constant entertainment from the international animation team. We visited each of these rooms within the first day, but found them unnecessary for our own needs.

After arriving at the Hotel on day one, exploring our rooms and checking out the pools from afar, we discovered that we were not allowed to take our room towels down to the pools with us, nor to the beach. What we did not discover until days later, was that the hotel offered pool towels (most likely for a rental fee, but we never found out). So that very first afternoon, after changing form our warmer Munich/plane clothing into our summeriest, we headed out of the Hotel and across the road to find a supermarket that sold beach towels. Success almost immeidately, and along with towels, we picked up our first 6 pack of 1.5 liter water bottles. Those things cost under 2 euros for 6 of them!

A tiny bit more exploring showed us the beach across the street before at least three of us were drenched in sweat and dying to get back to the hotel and try out that swimming pool! We proceeded to swim the rest of the day before going to dinner and then collapsing that night. The following day was spent exclusively at the pool lounging on beach chairs. Yes, we did dedicate one day to total and complete lounging. Books, water, towels and swimsuits. We went down around 10:30 or 11 that morning and didn't leave until 6 or so that evening when it was time for dinner!

No worries though, the next 4 days were spent exploring the island of Crete so thoroughly that yours truly ended up with ankles the size of her calves...

We were at the resort on half-pension, which meant our breakfasts and dinners were included but we were on our own for lunches. Meals at the hotel consisted of an international buffet. There was something for everyone and tons of dessert...We soon discovered that some of the waiters were more fun than others, one in particular and tried to sit in his serving area every meal after that. It's amazing what a difference your waiter can make in how you enjoy your meal!

Whew. My back is killing me from sitting at this computer, so you'll have to wait for tomorrow for the next installment (Knossos) and the accompanying pictures!

 


Yes, it's been two years. You go through each day and think it's all getting easier and then suddenly it's been two years and all you want is that baby back in your arms. Please click on the photo above to see more shots of the beautiful bouquet his Grandma sent in his memory today.

I am in the process of baking a cake, 3 layers, pink, blue and white with white frosting and a number '2' candle for the middle. Look for pictures later on. We turned down two invitations to BBQ's today. I don't understand why everyone else in the world thinks today such a great day for partying. By the second invitation, I even though I could do it. What a joke. As soon as I hung up the phone, I burst into tears and sobbed into Sven's shoulder for a good 10 minutes.

Here's to a happier day to everyone else.

Baby Showers, you know the tradition, a close friend or family member throws the expectant mother a party and showers her with gifts. The idea being: the expectant mother has less to buy thanks to the generosity of her friends and family. It is such a great idea, it brings family and friends together for the excuse of partying and helps out an overwhelmed soon-to-be mother. So why in the name of all that makes sense, don't Germans play the 'shower game'?!

Years ago, when I was planning on getting married, I asked a German friend if they throw bridal showers. When she said, "No, why? What's that?" I was devastated. Isn't that the point of getting married? I'm just kidding, relax! So I questioned her on Baby Showers. Nope again. "So what do you do when a baby is born?" I asked her. What I remember is some weird story about how the Fathers all get together and smoke a cigar and have a beer to celebrate the baby's birth, while Mom and Baby are in the hospital. Um, NO! I was aghast at this. Mom has just spent hours (maybe days?) in labor, working to get that baby out, and this after the 9 months of horror that is pregnancy and she gets no party? DAD gets the party? And all he did was contribute some sperm and half his genes?!

The friend who told me this so long ago, has since moved to America and had a baby there. I wonder what her views on Baby Showers are now?! Anyway, the point to all of this is that I thought I'd have to forego all fun showers when I moved to Germany, Bridal and Baby and was resigned.

Fast Forward Five Years. I meet Kerry and she comes down to my area of Germany and before we've hardly exchanged 5 words, she's telling me I have to have a shower and she'll make it happen. I thought it was sweet of her, but didn't really take her seriously, I mean, we hardly knew each other, right? And she's in Stuttgart and I'm in Munich. Well, Kerry meant it. When she found out my Mom was coming for her yearly summer visit, she called me for Mom's Email...??? When Mom got here, she called, not to talk to ME, but to my Mom. Okay. Obviously something was up, though I didn't really know what.

Mom eventually blabbed that Kerry was planning to come visit on Wednesday (that was supposed to be a surprise, but it's good she told me so we could get the place cleaned up some before Kerry got here) and I thought that was the big surprise, that Kerry was coming. That Kerry had planned a whole mini-shower with decorations:

was beyond my imagination. I never dreamed it! Above is a little collage of the decorations, theme was lavendar and baby's breath. If you click on the picture, you'll go to the full sized photos of the decorations.

Kerry not only decorated my apartment, she brought an armload or two of gifts:

some from her, some from my Mom, some from Tracey O., and most exciting, she and Tracey managed to get a group of women together to make me a little booklet of congratulations cards. Now, coming from scrapbookers, you know these are going to be gorgeous, but what made them even more special was the timing and the content. Two years ago I received another set of beautiful cards/tags from another group of scrapbookers, but these were to give strength in a time of grief. It is something else all together, to get a set of cards to celebrate life in a time of joy, and to all the women who read my blog and contributed to the little book, I thank you with all my heart!

Again, clicking on the collage will take you to the full-sized photos.

Lastly, Kerry made a real and true BOMB of a cake. The most delicious, rich and very American chocolate cake with a peanut butter frosting filling and the whole thing topped by another chocolate frosting:

This cake was heaven, people. We'd just come from a huge lunch at a very German Restaurant (giant schnitzels and plates full of french fries, even the 'kinderschnitzel' was huge!) and the only thing Quinlan (Kerry's son) wanted to do was eat that cake. You know I just wanted to open the gifts...and Mom and Kerry were still stuffed enough to be agreeable to me (ha ha!) so open we did. Yes, we, because Quin and Andie were both more than willing to help me and make me go faster! Kerry gave me a gorgeous basket o' practical gifts (and some fun stuff too). I think it made her laugh when I got all excited over the ENGLISH PARENTS magazine! She doesn't live on base, but does get to shop at the PX and didn't realize that my English reading material is limited to the latest bestselling books with no access to English magazines! Mom had a bag full of Pooh stuff and the hammer: a self-made fleece blanket with classic pooh on one side and a soft lavendar fleece with little poppy dots on the other. I wanted to wrap up in it right then and there!

We couldn't hold off on that cake any longer. They made me cut it, (turns out we all hate cutting cakes, though none of us really minds MAKING them!) and we washed it down with BLACK CHERRY SODA. It was like, not only did she bring a shower to me, she brought little bits of America with her. It was so much fun! And get this, she had to drive over 2 hours to get here, and then turn aound and drive those 2 hours BACK again with two toddlers! Amazing woman, THANK YOU Kerry!!!

ETA: When Sven was told about the party (quite a few days in advance in fact) he tried all he could to be able to come. He didn't care that men don't come to Baby Showers, it was a party, he wanted to be there! He just missed Kerry, she had driven away about 10 mins before he got home. Poor guy. So he sat down and had cake and soda and looked at all the gifts and listened to our stories...

Keep checking back if you are waiting for a Crete Report. It will come. Now that Mom has left I have too much free time on my hands, but I need to get past the weekend before I can concentrate on Crete.

One last note: Happy Birthday my darling Tawny Frogmouth - I hope you are having a wonderful day!!

Abschied nehmen. Goodbye. Farwell. Adieu.

Abschied ist wie ein kleiner Tod, obwohl man weiß, daß man sich bald wiedersehen wird. Weil man doch nie weiß, ob man sich wiedersehen wird.
© Erhard Blanck (*1942), deutscher Heilpraktiker, Schriftsteller und Maler

"Farewell!" For in that word--that fatal word--howe'er We promise--hope--believe--there breathes despair. - Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron), Corsair (canto I, st. 15)

I didn't cry at the airport, though it looks like it in the pictures, as my allergies were acting up and making my nose run and my eyes water, because this is the shortest goodbye we've had in a long while; she'll be back to see me in October. However, when I got home and read the card she left, I lost it.

So here's a blog entry to the best Mother in the world. I love you, I'm so glad you came, and stayed so long. I know how hard it is to be here and be dependant on us, to sleep on an air mattress on a noisy street, to share one bathroom and not be able to watch the TV. I appreciate that you come again every single year, despite the high cost of summer plane tickets. I thank you for the love and the gifts and the patience (and so does Sven). I love you!!

Your mother is always with you...

She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street.
She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks.
She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well.
Your mother lives inside your laughter. She's crystallized in every tear drop...
She's the place you came from, your first home..
She's the map you follow with every step that you take.
She's your first love and your first heart break....
and nothing on earth can separate you.

Not time, Not space...
Not even death....
will ever separate you from your mother....

You carry her inside of you....
- Author Unknown.

Kalimera!

Sure, there is plenty to tell about Crete. You know my family, we can turn a dream vacation into a horror one minute and perfection the next. I'm keeping it short for now though as Mom is still here (yay) and I managed to catch a cold the day we left Crete and it's hanging on for all it's worth now. However, I do want to broach the subject of the evil eye.

"The Evil Eye is a kind of negative power we all more or less carry within ourselves. If we stare too long on a person, animal or even an object we may inflict damage through this power. It is often totally unconsciously, but the staring in itself often comes from admiration or envy, which are perfect channels for the Evil Eye...

"...you can always take some measures to ward off the Evil Eye. Even though the Orthodox church says that the only things that can really protect you are crucifixes and icons from monasteries and churches (as opposed to souvenir shops) and first and foremost true faith, many Greeks hang little blue eyes around their necks and wrists.

"Blue stones are also good, since the colour blue is considered a protective colour."

I had read about it in books, most recently from Maeve Binchy, I'm sure, but didn't really associate it with the fact we were in Greece where it is so superstitiously believed, until we were having our 'welcome meeting' from the Alltours travel agent. The first thing she showed us was a small collection of blue eyes she seemed to have collected. These, she said, were to ward off the evil eye but only worked if you "truly believed."

It seemed at first, simply a fabulous souvenir to take home, a little blue eye charm. So we glanced into the million jewelery shops on the tourist streets of Crete to see what they cost and in what forms they could be bought. Mostly, they were sold as cheap looking charms with silver rims, or as funky beaded bracelets. We also saw a few keychains and larger pendants. I wanted one, but I wanted one rimmed in gold, because I'm so not a silver person. Finally, on Tuesday, when Sven went scuba-diving and Dad went to play golf at the Crete Golf Club, Mom and I got to go into Herssonissos by ourselves and shop.

We stopped at a little jewelery shop that had a display of eyes out front: gold and silver. We looked long enough (you don't have to wait long!)to be approached by the woman working. She was a total sweetheart. She didn't look Greek at all, short light hair, light skin and glasses, but had a sweet Greek accent. She asked us where we were from, because our 'English sounded different' (not British!) and then showed us the different eyes.

Every shop owner or salesperson in Crete is friendly, some a little less sincere than others because every one of them wants to make that sale. This woman though, she seemed to truly be interested. She chatted with us, asked us questions, eventually asked if we were mother daughter (because we 'matched' around the eyes) and when she realized I was pregnant, she immediately asked the gender and was so happy to hear it is a girl because "girls are better, boys are monsters." She later asked if it was my first, so I explained that my first had died and the woman got a look in her eyes that made you want to choke up right then and there! She was, at this point, trying to sell us a chain to go with the eye we had chosen and walked over and hooked it around my neck so we could see it. As soon as it was fastened, she said: "Now you are protected."

I was sold. If I need anything right now, it's protection of any and every kind.

The chain, by the way, is made of links in the shape of a Greek letter. Sven thinks it is the Greek 'f', or phi, but looking at the alphabet, I think it might be 'th', theta:

As we were leaving the shop, the woman wished us luck and happiness and told me that the year 2005 was a lucky year and that all would be well, and I think I believe her, because so far, 2005 has brought much happiness with it.

So that's my story of the evil eye. Believe what you will, I am superstitious enough to appreciate anything that might ward off evil and be positive for me and for my baby! The photo isn't fabulous. The eye itself is tiny and the chain quite delicate. We don't have a macro lens on the camera so sven did his best to get a decent shot of it and then I played around with filters until it looked somewhat nice. It's a beautiful turquoise-blue with a gold rim, I think not much more than 4-5mm in diameter. I'd never take it off if I weren't so afraid of damaging it while sleeping and showering!

Wow. This got long. I'll be back later with more stories and pictures!