A few things. I did not take the picture, that is Sven's handiwork, and I'm quite impressed, love the frog through the grass. Frogs. The mountain we visited on Sunday was full of them and their eggs. Apparently, the mountain also boasts groundhogs, but they didn't show themselves, so we had to resort to pictures of frogs...

Started week 20 on Sunday, that's right: halfway there, and another TWENTY weeks to go!

I think I started feeling G about mid-week 19 but wasn't sure. Still having trouble believing I might actually be feeling her, and then she gives a good hard kick and startles me. Basically feels like gas. Not exactly pleasant, but fascinating, all the same. This gassy-movement feeling, never came with Zane. Either he was smaller, I was fatter or he didn't move much, or strongly. Poor thing.

Yahoo pregnancy calendar says G is as big as a large banana. That made me laugh.

Got to meet up with Kereth again yesterday, fabulous. Love it when she comes visiting, even when she surprises me early in my pj's and a pigsty of an apartment! She patiently waited for me to shower and then we headed off to Toys-R-Us so she could get Dylan a sandbox. Took a peek at the babies section while there, looks slightly cheaper than Baby Walz, no idea if that is good or not. Did not buy anything as we went to Ikea on Friday and got some stuff then.

Midwife coming by tomorrow. We'll talk, find out if we like each other, and I'll figure out how this all works. In the meantime, I'm cleaning...

Baby G's first handmade toy (from me):

Meet Bear. I got the idea from a gal on Two Peas. She was asking people to make bears for a hospital (the bears would then be given to children stuck in the hospital). Well I thought, "I made a bear once and it was so not easy! This lady wants random women to make as many bears as they can for a hospital? No way!" So I clicked on the link to see just what the bear pattern looked like, and that's where I saw Bev's Mini Stitched Teddy Bear for the first time. Oh how cute, right? and how simple. Plus, the little pattern reminded me of Benny Bunny, my constant comapanion for years and years. In fact, Benny always looked out for me in the dark. As long as he was near my pillow, I felt safe.

So I decided to make G a mini teddy bear. I had the idea stewing for weeks and weeks now, bookmarked the website and thought about it once in a while. Yesterday, was a holiday and Sven took over the computer. Perfect, I printed out the pattern and started to work on the bear. This isn't a very involved bear, I could have finished him yesterday, but I was lazy and didn't.

I decided to make Bear out of my favorite pair of flannel pajama bottoms. I haven't been able to wear them for a few years because they wore out completely in the butt, no patching was going to fix them, the material had just worn away to nothing. I couldn't throw them out though, I loved those pj's. Got them used at Value Village in highschool, my first pair of men's pj bottoms. So there they were, washed and folded on top of my dresser, awaiting their fate.

That did it for me, you can't get much softer than old flannel pj's, and they were clean, I got busy. I cut out, traced, cut, traced, pinned and even stitched around the border all yesterday. This morning, I finally tried my hand with the sewing machine. No good. there wasn't enough material for me to work with, I couldn't turn the angles. So I started over, traced one pattern, folded the pants over and cut out one big block, pinned, sewed. This time, I forgot to leave the hole for turning the bear rightside out and stuffing. Is it obvious how little I sew...?! Took out the teeny stitches, finished sewing, and then spent a good 15 mins turning the bear from the very small hole I had unstitched.

Yes, he has faults, I couldn't keep the machine on the lines, even with all the extra border I had left over, so one ear is rounder, one leg longer, but he has some kind of charm, right? He's probably about 6 inches high, if you were wondering.

Last step was to embroider his face, because sven was bugging about the blank head. I can't embroider. I don't know the first thing about embroidery. As my sister, Jessica or Alice, they know how to do it, not me! But hey, laugh all you want, Bear now exists. Soft and squishy, and just the right size for little baby hands (well okay, not newborn baby hands, but what newborn baby is interested in toys anyway?). Plus, he's my first project for this baby, and he's something that her older brother didn't have, something just for her.

That's Bear.

And for anyone left who knows me from highschool, don't you have to laugh, me giving him my old nickname?! G might not carry my name in any other way, but she can have a toy named after me, ha!)

Kim pointed me out to a pretty cool website today, called the visible embryo

At the end of Week 19 at this point and still wondering whether I've felt G, or whether it's just gas bubbles and muscle twinges. I just can't tell the difference.

Last holiday in May is over, Sven is working on taxes (last minute-king over here) and rented a car because he took the day off today. We are driving down to Feldkirch (Austria) tomorrow to visit Tanja and Markus and the obnoxious irregular basket-ball bouncing noise going on just over my head has started up for the morning. Honestly, this sort of thing is going to cost me my insanity!

Sloppy Joes. I hated them as a kid. Not because Mom's were so bad, I just didn't like them. In fact, I don't really like anything that is made with ground beef, except a hamburger, and then only if it is grilled and not fried in a pan or a press-grill thingie and wrapped with bacon or onions...! I figured this meat-thing out in college, where there were so many non-meat options. What a relief to know that I didn't dislike my mom's cooking (on the contrary, she's a fabulous cook) I just didn't care for meat in most forms.

So I went through a phase where I only ate meat that I liked, and that morphed into absolutely NO meat whatsoever because the though of eating an animal made me sick to my stomach. That served me well while I was in Germany, for two reasons: due to a lack of non-meat foods, I lost a ton of weight and because I was labeled: vegetarian, I didn't have to eat some of the more questionable foods you find in the German cuisine!

I go back and forth. I still prefer not to eat meat, but I no longer turn my nose up to all of it. If it tasted good back then, I try it again now. Sometimes, it's okay, sometimes it is awful (fatty sausages that literally make me sick to my stomach come to mind). Turkey has been a staple in my diet for a while, and even better, turkey can be substituted for most non-turkey meats, even ground beef.

I was browsing possible dinner ideas with ground turkey last night at all recipes, when I came upon sloppy joes. Well, what about trying them with ground turkey instead of beef? Maybe they aren't so bad after all? I browsed through what seemd 100's of recipes just for sloppy joes until I found one that used ingredients I can get easily here in Germany and came up with this one:

Emily's Famous Sloppy Joes

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 1/2 pounds ground turkey
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 red bell pepper, chopped
• 1 (6 ounce) can tomato paste
• 1 cup water
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 tablespoon chili powder
• 1 teaspoon paprika
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1 teaspoon distilled white vinegar
• 3 tablespoons brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 8 hamburger buns, split

DIRECTIONS:

1. In a large skillet over medium-high heat, saute the ground turkey for 5 minutes. Add the onion and red bell pepper; saute for 5 more minutes, or until onion is tender.
2. Mix in tomato paste and water, stirring until paste is dissolved. Stir in garlic, chili powder, paprika, cumin, vinegar, brown sugar, oregano, salt and pepper. Continue to heat for 5 to 10 minutes, or until mixture is thick and stewy.

Actually quite good, although I used way too much chili powder, something that normally is no problem for me, but with the pregnancy, anything spicy sends my stmoach spiraling into chaos! And of course, we ate it on buns with pickles and mustard, just like at Mom's (I however, did not make homemade frenchfries to go with it) and Sven, well he ate nearly the whole pan before realizing he should maybe stop and leave some for my lunch today! So there ya go. Who'da thunk? Sloppy Joes revisited, and enjoyed!

Now, on another food-related note, I have fabulous news! Ben&Jerry's is finally available to the general public in Germany!!! This is big news, man!

Starting a preliminary search for a midwife and a hospital. Very preliminary because I vaguely remember doing the same damn thing around June of 2003 only to not need any of the information as I was shipped off to Cologne with no choice in the matter.

Now, I ended up liking that Uni-hospital in Cologne and would love to go back there and have a successful birth with a healthy baby at the end, but unless we move within the next few months, or the hospital decides to move to Munich...that's just not going to happen. I am just going to list my other choices (at the moment) here to get them out of the chaos of my head and a bit ordered, black on white.

Krankenhaus München-Harlaching

Informational-evening:
14.June or 19 July, at 5pm im Hörsall des Krankenhauses für Naturheilweisen auf dem Gelände des Krankenhauses München-Harlaching (ausgeschildert!).
Sanatoriumsplatz 2
81545 München
The tour lasts about 2 hours.

I am considering this hospital because it is where Dr. Grab works, and it was Dr. Grab who originally discovered Zane's brain tumor. I know therefore, that he is a good doctor, I also know that he helps in delivery if there is an emergency. He knows Dr. Tschürtz, and he might remember me (brain tumors being so rare and all). The hosptial has 3 lovely birthing rooms, a private breast-feeding room, and it looks like epidurals are no problem if you want one (plus!).

Frauenklinik zum roten Kreuz (Taxisklinik)
Taxisstraße 3
80637 München

Info evenings once a month (registration necessary)
Infant care class once a month
Breast feeding class once a month - available before birth as well

Please Register under the number: 089/ 157060

Vorstellung zur Geburt in der gewünschten Abteilung ist ab der 38. SSW. erwünscht.
Classes: birth preparation classes and Rückbildungsgymnastik available daily.

Paracelsus Klinik
Mozartstraße 21
80336 München
email: muenchen@pk-mx.de

Info-Evenings every second Monday, depending on appointment. Please call: 089/5158-209 for an apointment.

Midwives.

And I'm done for now. Will make more concrete decisions in June or July, preferably after the next doctor's appointment.

Have you ever watched a movie, come to the end and then gone, 'huh?' I can think of two that had me fesseled to my chair, waiting and waiting for the end so that all would come clear only to leave me feeling just as confused as when I started. I literally had to go online and find explanations to the movies to get that feeling of relief. Thing is, they were both really good movies, I've seen one twice already and the other is sitting on our coffee table waiting to be rewatched.

Mulholland Drive. I don't recommend it. It was good, but it was honestly off-the-wall confusing. Now we've got it to rewatch and I don't remember the info I had read about it in the first place, to clear up the confusion. I remember thinking it was cool, couldn't put it down (if it were a book) but once was enough for me. Although, now that I'm writing about it, I'm kinda gettin gin the mood to watch it!

Donnie Darko. Fabulous. I recommend it to everyone. I watched it twice without knowing what the hell it was about and was totally blown away both times. I later went online and looked up the Director's Cut. Fabulous website that clued in the confusion without ruining the whole mystery of the piece. Okay, I also have to admit that Jake Gyllenhaal totally makes this movie worth seeing again, and again, and again...and if you can get past 'Mad Word' at the end without wanting to cry, or even watch that last scene without crying, then you've got a heart of stone! Just listen to the lyrics man!

Mad World - Michael Andrews Feat. Gary Jules:

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going no where
Going no where
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
Mad world
Mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Mad world

(originally sung by Tears for Fears, Gary Jules sings it for the movie)

I'm telling you, I dare you to listen to that song and not want to cry at the end of the movie...

On a totally unrelated note, I just had dinner and it included of buttermilk biscuits from pillsbury. You know the kind, in the tube that you twist open and it POPS? The same kind you use to make pigs in a blanket? That's right, you can now buy them here in Germany! There were only 6 in the can, but who's complaining, right? Man, I love those buttermilk biscuits (they're the only thing worth eating at KFC!).

It is official, the reservation has been made and the payment information is on its way, we are going to Crete!

Yes, I know, sad picture, but believe you me, Dad is glad that there is a Golf Course! Actually, the map is a good indication of where we'll be, in the southeast of Crete, near Hersonissos (not too far from that Golf Course)! A teeny bit of reading reveals western Crete to be somewhat less touristy, but we're going for a very comfortable, let them take care of us, kind of vacation. Rental car for 3 days to visit some historical, non-beach sites (like Knosos) and the rest of the 4 days are to be spent lounging at one of the 2 nearby beaches or one of the 3 swimming pools at the hotel. Oh yes, we're talking luxury, something I've never done or experienced!

Sven suggested it, I jumped on it, and Mom and Dad (who are coming with) got pretty excited about it. Then Sven's coworkers told him to TALK ME OUT OF IT. They are certain that it will be too hot for a pregnant lady. I told Sven to relax, we're on the water, (now you see why I want that bathing suit) and to make sure i had water with me at ALL times, and we'll not do anything in the afternoons except stay in the shade or siesta in the airconditioned rooms...!

I want to share more pictures, but I guess that'll have to wait until we've actually gone and taken some...(and for the extreme case that we can't go due to recurring pregnancy complications, we DO have insurance covering a cancelation).

check this out:
I am SO going swimming this summer! I think it's been over 10 years since I went swimming, but man, if I am going to make it through the whole 9 months of this pregnancy, I hear getting in the water is the best thing to do! What the hell, maybe I'll even join some pregnancy swimming sport group...there's bound to be one nearby!