Horrid, horrid morning sickness, better known as 24/7-sickness. If I owe you an Email, I apologize, I am being overwhelmed with odors and my stomach turns in constant circles without relief (except when I'm sleeping). It started up last week, Thursday. This is MUCH earlier than last time and I hope that means it will end sooner as well.

Hey, does anyone want to come over and give my apartment a good cleaning, get rid of all these odors...? The computer room is the worst, thus my problems sitting down to write Emails and the soap we have in the bathroom, bath and body works cotton something or other, it's killing me. I really need to change it. Already had to go off that Black Raspberry Vanilla, which was sketchy before odor-city started up. *sigh*

no really, someone? anyone? do my laundry? find out where the source of the bad odors are and eliminate them?! pretty please? It's enough to make me get off my own lazy ass and do it myself, except for the waves of uuuuuuuughhhhhhh that keep me curled up in a fetal position trying not to breathe...

Week 6, moving right along: the inner ear is forming. Babies heart starts to beat, though it's almost impossible to hear. Vitamin A can be harmful during pregnancy: ask your healthcare provider before taking anything. Be careful with lotions that contain Retinol-A: also taboo during pregnancy (bring on the zits).

I've been curious for a while now, what exactly differences there are in prenatal care between Germany and the U.S., and finally have a good account of someone who has gone through both! Actually, she is in the process of going through prenatal care for baby #2 in America right now. When I asked her what the differences were she said (with my own comparisons squeezed in the middle:

"Being pregnant in the states is very different from Germany. These are only the facts and you can build your own opinion. Ultrasound is only done once, to see if all the organs are o.k.. In case there are complications, they will do another one, but only in this case. Otherwise the doctor only listens to the heartbeat and measures your belly." [I never actually heard the heartbeat with Zane, but did see it beating furiously in the first, and in each proceeding ultrasound. My actual stomach was never measured, but at each key appointment, the baby was measured through ultrasound, which is eventually, how they discovered the hydrocephalus that preceeded the tumor.] "That is it. We were used to the German system and wanted to have a better protection. Therefore, we had to ask for a genetic counselling. That way we were able to get a second ultrasound and a measurement of the neck, which gives you advice about the possibility of down syndrom." [this particular u/s is the one I refused and which ultimately led to my doctor believing I was über-religious and didn't beileve in termination whatsoever...] One does not receive a mother pass here and the blood work done is only the basics. After the delivery you are allowed to stay in the hospital for two days... But you have a single room!!!! And there are usually no midwifes, you have to pay one on your own if you want this service. You can make up your own mind now."

Thanks for the facts, my friend!

You might have noticed the eerie timing on this pregnancy, about 1-2 weeks earlier than the last. I don't know if this is a good thing, a bad thing, or just a thing, but there you go. Now all the baby clothes meant for Zane, nice and cozy warm as whey were, will work just as well for this new Fall Baby.

Oh, and a word on optimism: it could end in disaster, but the probability that it is okay is about 75% (thanks Kereth!) and the best thing to do is BE positive. Besides, if it does end in disaster, I'll need something to hold on to to know it was real. So here I am, being positive, and letting myself make plans. The plans might again be dashed to pieces and I'll feel horrible, but I'll feel horrible no matter what, so might as well go ahead with some plans, right?

I was speaking to Kereth today and she was trying to figure out what I can do for this baby, since I crocheted for Zane and no longer have yarn, and already did all the prereq. reading and research, have baby clothes and goodies galore and as of yet have no pictures to scrap about this new baby. She came up with the idea of adding an entry about 'your baby today' in my blog. Fabulous idea, Kereth! So that is what I will do. This first one will be a compilation of the past few weeks though, all information taken, for simplicity, from pregnancy.org.

Jan. 22nd or 23rd: 2 weeks from LMP. Conception and Fertilization!You've made a baby! The egg and sperm meet, and create a single cell organism called a zygote. Cells are dividing...Egg falls into the uterus and gets ready to implant itself. Egg implants and sheds its outer wall. Read more on implantation and why the egg sticks to the uterus. You've grown a blastocyst.

3 weeks LMP: Early pregnancy symptoms include sore breasts, cramping, mild nausea, fatigue, increased irritability, or sometimes you might not feel anything at all -- in which case you're blessed. Most of these symptoms are also indicative of the start of a new cycle and therefore not positive indicators of pg. The blastocyst contacts the endometrium. Blastocyst is growing...The blastocyst will firmly attach to the endometrium in the next couple of days.

4 weeks LMP: Home pregnancy tests might show positive now. Around midweek is when I finally realize that it might have finally happened this month, but I refused to take a HPT. Two "prongs" of the blastocyst separate: one becomes the head, the other a baby butt. Nerve development in baby begins. Blastocyst becomes an embryo. The embryo is beginning to develop a face, though it still looks outworldly. The baby's head, body and sac are the same size.

5 weeks LMP: The embryo becomes three layers. The outer layer becomes the brain, nerves, and skin. The placenta becomes fully functional. The middle layer becomes the bones, muscles, blood vessels, heart, and sex organs. The inner layer becomes the stomach, liver, intestines, lungs, and urinary tract.

And that brings us up to date at this point!

Okay, the jury is out: pregnant. I had an 8:30am appointment with Dr. Tschürtz this morning and when I got there around 8:15am, he still hadn't shown up and already had a half-full waiting room. Sometimes I think he has a very ungiving kind of life...Thankfully, Frau Ring was working this morning. She must be the only person in the whole clinic who remembers me by face and treats me like a person and not a patient. She asked if I was there for the yearly exam and I said yes, and that I was possibly pregnant. She stopped and looked at me and then told me how wonderful that was! She was also the one to take my blood pressure and told me she hoped I was pg, and how in the world had I desisted taking a HPT so long?! When I came out of the exam-room, she popped her head out of the back office just to find out the end-result and then came over and clasped my hands tightly and told me how happy she was for me. Thank goodness for women like Frau Ring!

Now Dr. Tschürtz was a different matter entirely. He has a sort of cold, standoffish personality, but he is such a good doctor, I have to keep coming back to him. He wanted to know first, if I had been to the Reproduktions Zentrum and what had happened. When I mentioned my lack of rubella antibodies he freaked out (had he honestly forgotten?!) and started pouring over my chart. Well, in red there was a tiny comment about the percentage of antibodies in my blood. After I had insisted he do a recount because IHAD been vaccinated years ago, he had done so and they came up very faint. Not strong enough though, to put him at ease and he spent the rest of the exam worrying about the risk of my contracting the disease and told me to STAY AWAY from children until at least week 20! His reaction was too funny:

Dr. T: 'can you stay away from children?'
me: If i have to, I will.
Dr. T: Well, can you? aren't there children nearby that you would come into contact with?'

And all the time I'm thinking, and if there were, and I couldn't, what would you do about it?!

Well, thankfully he did do more than worry, he DID finally get out the ultrasound and checked for the speck, which is all it is at 5w2d. In fact, he didn't even bother to figure out the date himself, just took my word for it that I was at the beginning of 5 weeks, and I am. 5weeks 2 days (approximately).

The first real prenatal visit isn't until about week 9, which is when the heartbeat should show, so I am headed back on March 15th.

A coworker of Sven's is a basketball referee, of all things, in GERMANY! So anyway, he was refereeing a game tonight in Freising and another coworker mentioned to Sven they should go. I surprised Sven when I said *I* wanted to go! Man, what a trip down memory lane - highschool pepband! Yes, no kidding, it has been TEN years since I was at a basketball game last!

The players weren't fabulous, though some shots were VERY impressive..and a few looked so very GERMAN I had to laugh (think Dirk Novitzky). BUT, the absolute best thing of the evening had to have been the CRAZY CHEERS...six cheerleaders doing their little jazz dances during the 4th period breaks and halftime. Pom-poms and all *giggle*. What they were missing were the plastic smiles and the energy that makes you tired just looking at them. and just the one cheer all evening: "Auf geht's Freising, auf geht's!!"

I never thought I'd MISS highschool basketball games, especially as I can't remember ever actually watching them (thanks Sharla)!