The U2 and the Baby Blues

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Yesterday, we drove to the pediatrician so that Dean could be checked up (called the U2 in Germany, the U3 will follow in about 4 weeks, at which time he will be given a hearing test and a hip ultrasound).

We did go to the same pediatrician that we go to for Georgia, simply because it was convenient and were actually surprised at how friendly he was. We got no lectures and the doctor truly seemed to enjoy the check-up. Sven and I both have sneaking suspicions that he prefers boys to girls...

Dean's umbilical cord thingie had fallen off during that night and so he came fresh without to the doctor's on his 5th day of life - that's right, five days and his belly button was already free! The doctor was very surprised about that, and said that it all looked fabulous, cleaned it up a bit and that was that. The check-up went splendidly, he basically repeated everything Andrea had been saying: no more jaundice (he hadn't really had much of it anyway) good temperature, good weight (barely 100g down from birth weight, meaning he's already started gaining) etc. We do however, have a doctor who can't leave you without finding SOMETHING to warn you about. So he told us to watch the feet, they were curled in from birth still and to massage the outer edges so that they'd lie flat (Andrea said Dean's feet are fine and there is no need to worry or massage) and he also said that Dean prefers to look to the right and that is because of the way he was lying in the uterus - that the muscles in his jaw on the right side are stronger and more formed than the left and went on with some bla blah on how to make sure he looks both ways and builds up those muscles. Again, Andrea said it was a bit of blah blah, she had already checked and was certain that there is no problem. Yes, I tend to believe Andrea over the doctor in almost all things, but especially things that have to do with my newborn, whom she sees EVERY DAY, and not just once at a quick check-up.

Basically however, we left with an A and are most likely headed back beginning of November - unless we decide to switch doctors for the U's.

The day itself yesterday, was horrible. It was the 5th day, which is apparently a RINGING BELL kind of day for baby blues. I fell down the stairs in the morning and am now black and blue. I felt short with everyone and Georgia is totally testing her boundaries. Bad combination.

It all came to a head last night while Dean was actually calm and hanging out with Daddy. I thought I'd finally get to be the one to put Georgia to bed, and I was very excited and very happy to snuggle with my Georgie again. So we went in to bed and before we'd even turned out the lights, she was crying for her Daddy. I was a bit impatient with that and made her get in her sleeping bag, gave her her bottle and got the lights out. She continued to cry for her "daaaaaaaaaady!" and added in a couple "opa's" for good measure. That's right, she wanted her OPA more than me? her MOMMY? I was crying by this time, which didn't help matters any, and didn't phase Georgia at all. Eventually, she got quiet and then said very clearly and very carefully: "ssssssssven. SVEN."

Yes, she called him by his NAME. She doesn't even KNOW my name! Anyway, when I heard that, my heart broke into a million little pieces, I jumped out of bed and ran into the living room, sobbing and told Sven to just go in to her, she doesn't want me. And I continued to cry the rest of the night.

Today, I woke up feeling slightly better, although the memory of her not wanting me still makes me start to cry...and when Andrea arrived, she said it was completely normal, my sobbing and unhappiness, and that the peak for baby blues is DAY FIVE.

It is interesting, having Andrea as my midwife this time around, because she had her own first baby since I had Georgia and she sees a lot of things through the eyes of a mother AND a midwife, and not just a midwife. I think (if it is possible) that she is even more understanding than she was before.

Anyhow. That was day five and Dean's actual EDD. An all-around shitty day to be truthful. And as for Georgia? I'm worried sick that I am going to lose the bond I have (had?) with her while trying to juggle life with a newborn. I suppose I just need to take things one day at a time.

Posted at 04:39 pm by zauber-a


	Cora October 10, 2007 05:51 PM PDT I promise you won't lose that bond, I understand that it is a real concern, but very soon, Sven will go back to work and the in-laws will go home and it will just be you again. You will establish a new routine that includes both children and she will adapt to it, but she will still have time alone with you and that will get things back on course. My heart goes out to you, I'm sorry it was such a rough day.


	Cynthia October 10, 2007 06:45 PM PDT Amber, I can totally relate! For about 2 weeks, I cried every day and was convinced that I was a horrible mother and wife and that Mark would leave me. Plus, it didn't help that two couples- both with small children- in our six-apt building were going thru horrible divorces.... So happy to hear that Dean is so healthy! That sounds ridiculous about the feet, I agree with Andrea on that one.


	Sybille October 10, 2007 08:15 PM PDT Also das mit den Füssen ist doch ganz normal. Manche haben es stärker und manche schwächer. Und man macht sicher nichts falsch wenn man die Füßchen an den Außenseiten streicht. Lieber eine Sache zu viel gemacht, egal ob notwendig oder nicht als hinterher ärgern, oder? Und schaden tut es nicht. Hab ich damals bei Hanna schon gemacht und mach ich jetzt bei Lotti wieder. Ist einfach ein Ritual das bei uns zum Wickeln gehört. Und keine Sorge Georgia liebt dich!!!!! Ich bin schon auf Dean gespannt. Die Fotos sind so schön……


	Mom October 11, 2007 02:10 AM PDT Amber this breaks my heart. I know that Georgia still loves you and wants to be with you. She is just loving it that her daddy is there with her. Just like Cora said, once everyone leaves things will go back to normal or as normal as possible with a two year old and a new baby. This is a hard time but it will get better. Hang in there.

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